How to Avoid Sexual Temptation

Satan Knows Your Weakness

You may be praying in the Spirit and going weeks without falling into sexual sin, but then the next thing you know, seemingly out of the blue, here comes this fine sister with everything you like and all the right curves just how you like them asking for your phone number.

Know that satan knows your weakness, ladies and gentlemen, and even during periods of sincere consecration he will send exactly what you like right in front of your face in order to tempt you.

Remember, satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness after Jesus fasted 40 days. What’s the first thing a man wants after having not eaten 40 days straight – food! So the next thing you know Jesus is in the wilderness with satan and the first thing satan tries to tempt Jesus with is challenging Him to turn stones into bread so He could eat (Matthew 4:2-3)

In the same manner, you may have gone 40 days without sex, you may have read this book and said you were going to read at least a Scripture a day and pray for at least 30 minutes each morning, but on the 41st day here comes that old boyfriend calling, asking if he can come over. Know that at your weakest point, satan may send you something that may look good to the eye, but is totally bad for you.

For every temptation sent your way, know that God will always create a way of escape for you (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Don’t even allow the enemy to open any doors in your life,

Close any and all doors immediately.

Do not call that ex back and definitely do not stop by and visit, I don’t care how much you try and convince yourself that you just want to go over there and have Bible study. Again, don’t trust yourself.

7 Ways To A Lasting Marriage

Marriage is supposed to last forever, isn’t it? When we decide to get married, we truly believe that forever will happen. Sometimes that’s easier said than done because most of us don’t have realistic guidelines or tools to know how to make a marriage last. When we fall in love, we usually think that’s all we’ll need to be happy. However, when reality sets in and we have our first real argument, we get hit with the realization that our spouse isn’t perfect.

In the beginning of a relationship we do our best to give our partner the benefit of the doubt, expressing our love and goodwill, even when we’re upset. However, as time goes on it can get harder to resolve arguments and, therefore, harder to feel loving and forgiving towards our partner. It’s at these times that we start to ask ourselves, is there a secret to making a marriage last? Is it really possible to live happily ever after? Can I make my marriage divorce-proof? The answer to all of these questions is, "Yes!" However, the hardest question to answer is: How do we do it? How do I have a lasting, happy marriage that doesn’t end in divorce court?

1. Keep the lines of communication open. If you don’t know how to express your feelings and/or have poor listening skills, learn to get better at both. You can read a book, take a class, or get into counseling. Good communication requires both the ability to express and listen.

2. Don’t sweep your fights under the rug and think they’ll magically resolve themselves. Do your best to resolve your first argument as soon as it arises so you won’t have the same argument for the next fifty years, in different forms.

3. Remember that you love your spouse; therefore, you want the best for her/him. Give her/him the benefit of the doubt when you feel angry, hurt or disappointed. Talk to your partner; don’t make assumptions.

4. Don't take your spouse for granted. Tell your partner every day something you appreciate about her/him and how grateful you are to have them in your life.

5. Your spouse should never feel like your enemy. If they do, something is wrong; remember that you fell in love with this person. If there’s so much anger that you feel like you are enemies, get help somewhere as quickly as possible.

6. Gauge your marriage. Notice and don’t ignore the warning signs if you’re not talking, sex has diminished, you’re fighting all the time and you’re not happy. The sooner you acknowledge you’re having problems, the sooner you can begin to solve them.

7. Always remember that you have the power to change behaviours in your marriage through different tools of self-discovery. You don’t have to stay stuck in unhealthy ruts.

A long-lasting marriage can be accomplished by anyone who is willing to take the time and energy to make their marriage a priority in their life. Nurture your marriage as it so richly deserves! You can live happily ever after, not with magic, but with work, awareness and knowledge of yourself and your partner.

What is True Love?

True Love is a heart that gives & gives and wants to continue giving.
Love is powerful. If you grab hold of love and pull, you can pull the whole world with you, similar to the way that you can pull a person along simply by pulling on a single strand of his hair. We ourselves have no power. We lack even the ability to cause a single dandelion by the side of the road to bloom. So the only way we can live is to rely on each other's love. True love is a love that loves but then forgets even the fact that it loved, and then loves again. As we continue to love in this way, our selfish mind will disappear completely. The heart that sacrifices in this way is the heart of true love. Rev Sun Myung Moon

Is Everyone Doing It?

How should you respond when people in your high school say,
 "Everyone is doing it?"

You could respond in any number of ways.
For one, you could ask the person, “If I can prove that the majority of high school students are virgins, will you be abstinent?”

The most authoritative research on the sexual activity rates of high school students is the Youth Risk Behavior Survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control. According to this nationwide survey of more than 150 high schools, only about a third of all students are currently sexually active.

Since 1991 teen sexual activity rates have been dropping, and now the majority of high school students are virgins.

In fact, between 1991 and 2005 the sexual activity rate of high school boys dropped twice as quickly as that of high school girls!

Non-virgins Regretted Having Sex Before Marriage 
Among teens who have already lost their virginity, two-thirds of them wish they had waited longer to have sex (77 percent of girls and 60 percent of guys).

The trend toward chastity is well underway, even if you haven’t noticed it on your campus.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy surveyed teens from around the country, asking them if it was embarrassing for teens to admit that they are virgins.

Surprisingly, 87 percent of teens said no, it’s not embarrassing.

Most of those who said it was embarrassing were under the age of fifteen. Who most probably haven't really received much education on sex. 

Only 5 percent of older teens (fifteen to seventeen years of age) thought virginity was an embarrassing admission.

Chastity is the new thing - Virginity Rocks!
Despite the fact that these teens said virginity wasn’t something to be ashamed of, you don’t hear much about it because the sexually active students do all the talking.

For some reason chastity gossip just doesn’t seem to spread as quickly. This gives the impression that “everyone is doing it,” when in reality the majority are not.

You could also point out that the “everyone” who is “doing it” is also getting STDs, that “everyone” is breaking up three weeks after they have sex, and “everyone” ends up getting divorced if they stay together long enough to get married.

You are in no rush to join any of these crowds. Studies are more important first, sex can wait after marriage. Sex after marriage is more joyful and long-lasting. 

We all have a fear of not being accepted or of being a loner if we do not conform to the world.

But you must hold out for the higher standard of love.

The bottom line is this:
What is your motivation? Is it to please God or to conform to the world and make life-changing decisions based on the opinions of classmates, most of whom you will probably never see again after graduation?

Stay strong. You are worth the wait.

Besides, the world needs to see young people who are not scared out of their minds to be chaste.

This is something to be proud of, and if enough people on your campus realize this and have the courage to stand up, I would bet the saying “everyone is doing it” may eventually refer to chastity.

The Shocking Truth about Condoms

The Lies about Condoms 
"Saying that the use of condoms is ‘safe sex’ is in fact playing Russian roulette. A lot of people will die in this dangerous game." Quote from: ¾ Dr. Teresa Crenshaw, member of the U.S. Presidential AIDS Commission and past president of the American Association of Sex Educators

Myth of Condom caused Unwanted Pregnancies 
The myth of the protective properties of condoms is the one of the main reasons for the spread of venereal disease. Statistics show a shocking fact, with increased use of condoms, it dramatically increased diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

Illegitimate births in sexually active young people increased by 29% despite 33% increase in condom use during sex.

Condoms are Failures 
Why? There are many reasons why condoms are unreliable. This video focuses on only one of them. Other than that penetration, manufacturing defects, aging, slipping, improper storage and many more also contribute to the hazardous of a condom.  

The main reason for the unreliability is the existence of small micro-pore holes whose size is larger than that of the HIV virus.

HIV is only 0.1 micrometre (1/1000 of a millimetre) while the pores in the structure of condoms is around 5 micrometre. This is 50 times larger than the HIV virus. The sperm is 3 micrometre. These super-small viruses can get through a hole in a condom much more easily than sperm can. Herpes also can easily penetrate through the pores of the condom. Many people do not know that some of the venereal diseases are transmitted through unobstructed condom. Some of them are not curable.

Skin to Skin can also transmit AIDS
Sexual Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are also frequently passed through "skin to skin" contact even when condoms are used. This can happen because the bacterial or viral germs that cause many serious STDs do not infect just one place on your body. They may infect anywhere in the male or female genital areas.

So, even if the virus or bacteria isn't passed through tears or holes in the condom itself, you can still get diseases because condoms don't cover or protect all areas of the genital region. That means condoms don't prevent many of the STD infections that take place during sexual contact.

According to American researchers, the risk of AIDS infection with the use of condoms is 31%. Therefore, the Ministry of the U.S. medical industry requires manufacturers to affix warning required for their inefficiency. The warning on the packaging reads:

"Warning condoms do not protect you from AIDS."

In this sense, organizations and individuals who spread lies in the society for protective action of condoms irresponsible trick people and cause serious danger. 

10 Myths of Casual Sex

Myth #2: The benefits outweigh the risks.

Myth #4: There is no downside to having multiple sex partners throughout one's life.

Myth #5: Its okay to have sex outside of marriage especially if there is intimacy.

Myth #6: Having an affair is a great way to spice up a dull marriage.

Myth #7: It is unrealistic to expect teenagers to abstain from sex until marriage since sexual intercourse is an unavoidable rite of passage.

What is the Big Deal about Sex?

Why does it MATTER if I have Sex, or not?
There Are Emotional Consequences of Premarital Sex

Your sexuality is a huge part of who you are as a person.
It is to be protected and safe-guarded for the good of your whole being, and only shared in a permanent, life-long, trusting, and committed monogamous relationship traditionally known as marriage. Otherwise, your whole being gets ripped and torn and you lose your identity as a unique person.

No two people are exactly alike. Each of us is a unique, one-of-a-kind personality. And while every person will respond differently to situations and experiences, there are still many negative psychological consequences that most people experience to some degree when they engage in premarital sexual involvement.

10 Negative Psychological Consequences of Premarital Sex:

For many people, this is a major emotional stress. Young sexual active people are worried and distracted each month that they might be pregnant, or might have caused pregnancy.

Girls often buy home pregnancy kits and have a great deal of anxiety in their day-to-day activities. It may be difficult to concentrate on schoolwork or sports.

At least 50% of sexual active people will get a genital HPV. This STD (Sexual Transmitted Disease) is very contagious and it has no cure. HPV-related cancers might not have signs or symptoms until they are advanced and hard to treat. STDs are more than just an embarrassment. They're a serious health problem. If untreated, some STDs can cause permanent damage, such as infertility (the inability to have a baby) and even death (in the case of HIV/AIDS).

"I get upset when I see my friends losing their virginity to some guy they've just met. Later, after the guy's dumped them, they come to me and say, 'I wish I hadn't done it.'"

A ninth-grade girl who slept with eight boys in junior high says, 'I'm young, but I feel old.'" Girls are more likely to see sex as a sign of commitment in the relationship. They often feel cheap and cheated.

"I never imagined I'd pay so dearly and for so long. Sex without commitment is very risky for the heart." - a 33-year-old psychiatrist from personal experience 
Guilt is a special form of regret; it is a strong sense of having done something morally wrong. 

Morality refers to a code of behavior.

Guilt is a normal and healthy moral response, a sign that one's conscience is working.

Guilt may come from seeing the hurt one has caused other people by using them as sex objects.

Guilt may come from knowing your parents would be upset if they knew of your sexual involvement.

Guilt about sexual pasts can "cripple" people when they do get married, through flashbacks of previous sexual experiences.

Many people suffer loss of self-respect when they discover they have a sexually transmitted disease. Most people have no idea how prevalent STDs are, believing they only are contracted by "low-life". When they become infected themselves, they feel very "dirty".

Even without STD infection, temporary sexual relationships can lower the self-respect of both the user and the used. Casual sex can lower self-esteem, which leads a person into further casual sex, which leads to further loss of self-esteem in an oppressive cycle, which is hard to break.

On both sides of dehumanized sex, there is a loss of dignity and self-worth.

As one 20-year-old male confides: "You feel pretty crummy when you get drunk at a party and have sex with some girl, and then the next morning you can't even remember who she was.""

Things are to be used and people are to be loved. People are not things. 

When we treat them as if they were, we not only hurt them; we lose respect for ourselves.

When people treat others as sexual objects and exploit them for their own pleasure, they not only lose self-respect; they corrupt their characters and debase their sexuality in the process. Good character consists of virtues such as respect, responsibility, honesty, fairness, caring, and self-control.

With regard to sex, self-control is particularly crucial. The breakdown of sexual self-control is a big factor in many of the sex-related problems that plague our society: rape, promiscuity, pornography, apiction to sex, sexual harassment, sexual abuse of children, sexual infidelity in marriage, and more. It was Freud who was obviously correct when he said that sexual self-control is essential for civilization.

Once sexual restraint is removed, it easily takes over individuals and relationships, leading quickly to date rape, gangs requiring sexual touching and intercourse in order to "earn points", and a general disregard for individual privacy and modesty. In short, sex that is not tied to love and commitment undermines character by subverting self-control, respect, and responsibility. Unchecked, sexual desires and impulses run amok and lead to habits of hedonism and using others for one's personal pleasure. Sexual intercourse loses its meaning, beauty, and "special"ness. Instead of being a loving, uniquely intimate expression of two people's commitment to each other, sex is trivialized and degraded.

Young people who feel used or betrayed after the break-up of a sexual relationship may experience difficulty in future relationships. Some develop a low self-esteem and they seek any type of attention, no matter how short-lived and demeaning; others withdraw and have trouble trusting any more.

One young woman noted: "Besides feeling cheap [after several sexual relationships], I began to wonder if there would ever be anyone who would love and accept me without demanding that I do something with my body to 'earn' that love."

Boys also experience loss of trust: "I'm afraid of falling in love." 
Sometimes the emotional reaction to being "dumped" isn't just a lack of trust or fear of commitment; but rage. The sense of betrayal is usually much greater if sex has been part of the relationship. Sex can be emotional dynamite.

Kieran Sawyer wrote: "The more the relationship seems like real love, the more the young person is likely to invest, and the deeper the pain and hurt if the relationship breaks up."

Sometimes the rupture leads to deep depression that may lead, in turn, to suicide.

In the past 25 years, teen suicide has tripled.

In a 1988 survey by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1 of 5 adolescent girls stated they had tried to kill themselves (1 of 10 for boys).

This is the same period during which the rate of teen sexual activity has sharply increased. Although there are certainly many causes, it is reasonable to suspect that the pain from such break-ups is a factor for some young people.

Sex can cause another kind of emotional consequence by turning good relationships bad. Other dimensions of the relationship stop developing and negative emotions enter, such as anger, impatience, jealousy, and selfishness.

Premature sexual involvement can not only stunt the development of the relationship; it can also stunt one's development as a person. Some young people handle anxieties by turning to drugs and alcohol, while others turn to sex.

Sex becomes an escape. They do not learn how to cope with life's pressures.

Just at the time when young people should be reaching out to form new friendships, join clubs and teams, develop their interests and skills, and take on bigger responsibilities, they are instead turning inward, absorbed in intense sexual relationships.

The failure to grow during these years will affect them all their lives; they may never develop their full potential.

Girls especially, tend to thwart their individuality, becoming part of the boy, gaining their self-worth from him. Girls can fail to develop their own interests and their own sense of independent identity.

Dr. Carson Daly, college counselor, comments:

"I don't think I ever met a student who was sorry he or she postponed sexual activity, but I certainly met many who deeply regretted their sexual involvements. Time and time again, I have seen the long-term emotional and spiritual desolation that results from casual sex and promiscuity.

"No one ever tells students that it sometimes takes years to recover from the effects of these sexual involvements - if one ever fully recovers."

Sex can certainly be a source of great pleasure and joy; but it can also be the source of deep wounds and suffering.
We need to help and guide all young people to understand this. What makes the difference is the type of relationship within which sexual activity occurs.

Sex is most joyful and fulfilling - most emotionally and physically safe - when it occurs within a loving, total, and binding life-long commitment, historically called marriage.

Sexual union is then part of something bigger - the union of two persons' lives.

Thomas Lickona, Ph.D., Director of the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs (Respect and Responsibility), based in Cortland, NY. 

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