7 Ways To A Lasting Marriage

Marriage is supposed to last forever, isn’t it? When we decide to get married, we truly believe that forever will happen. Sometimes that’s easier said than done because most of us don’t have realistic guidelines or tools to know how to make a marriage last. When we fall in love, we usually think that’s all we’ll need to be happy. However, when reality sets in and we have our first real argument, we get hit with the realization that our spouse isn’t perfect.

In the beginning of a relationship we do our best to give our partner the benefit of the doubt, expressing our love and goodwill, even when we’re upset. However, as time goes on it can get harder to resolve arguments and, therefore, harder to feel loving and forgiving towards our partner. It’s at these times that we start to ask ourselves, is there a secret to making a marriage last? Is it really possible to live happily ever after? Can I make my marriage divorce-proof? The answer to all of these questions is, "Yes!" However, the hardest question to answer is: How do we do it? How do I have a lasting, happy marriage that doesn’t end in divorce court?

1. Keep the lines of communication open. If you don’t know how to express your feelings and/or have poor listening skills, learn to get better at both. You can read a book, take a class, or get into counseling. Good communication requires both the ability to express and listen.

2. Don’t sweep your fights under the rug and think they’ll magically resolve themselves. Do your best to resolve your first argument as soon as it arises so you won’t have the same argument for the next fifty years, in different forms.

3. Remember that you love your spouse; therefore, you want the best for her/him. Give her/him the benefit of the doubt when you feel angry, hurt or disappointed. Talk to your partner; don’t make assumptions.

4. Don't take your spouse for granted. Tell your partner every day something you appreciate about her/him and how grateful you are to have them in your life.

5. Your spouse should never feel like your enemy. If they do, something is wrong; remember that you fell in love with this person. If there’s so much anger that you feel like you are enemies, get help somewhere as quickly as possible.

6. Gauge your marriage. Notice and don’t ignore the warning signs if you’re not talking, sex has diminished, you’re fighting all the time and you’re not happy. The sooner you acknowledge you’re having problems, the sooner you can begin to solve them.

7. Always remember that you have the power to change behaviours in your marriage through different tools of self-discovery. You don’t have to stay stuck in unhealthy ruts.

A long-lasting marriage can be accomplished by anyone who is willing to take the time and energy to make their marriage a priority in their life. Nurture your marriage as it so richly deserves! You can live happily ever after, not with magic, but with work, awareness and knowledge of yourself and your partner.

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